I am a Lazy parent, I am proud of it and my children love it.

What Is Lazy Parenting & What Are the Benefits?

Lazy parenting means being there whenever your children need you but for the rest, they must manage themselves.

This is a concept that I use day in and day out.

I frequently don’t react, or interfere with my opinions, experiences and views, I say nothing, I do nothing, and I wait… maybe I ask questions. I don’t take the leadership of the situation and I let them lead me to their needs or their solutions.

The Advantages for your children:

✅ Your children become very responsible when you are a lazy parent. They take responsibility for their world, their business, their life.

✅Your children are solution-oriented. They are proactive and do not wait for an adult to come and solve their problems. They learn how to reflect and find solutions.

✅Creativity is thus increased - maybe not to draw a picture but to navigate through life.

✅Your children are confident. They hold the steering wheel of their lives in their hands, which makes them strong and confident.

✅This builds a real culture of trust. Your children can feel that you believe they are capable of handling things. They can feel that you are there too if they need help.

✅ The children develop an understanding of the world and of themselves (world awareness and self-awareness)

✅ They feel free. My oldest son often tells me this and he loves it. My second one told me that he loves it too because he can do his homework exactly the ways he wants.

The Advantage for you:

✅ More time for you. Your children take care of so many things that you no longer have in mind.

✅ Less of a mental load. Your children are so responsible and organised that you don't need chase them.

✅You can see them as part of the team, and they can use their solution-oriented mind to help you out with family problems.

✅ Far less conflicts at home, because you don't try to impose your point of view, but you just ask questions.

✅ Pride. I have interviewed a lot of parents, and I can tell that lazy parents as I describe them are usually really proud of the resources and capabilities of their children.

How to be a lazy parent?

Well, it might look like it is easy to be a lazy parent but you might need some practices at first and it might cost you extra energy at first.

I remember while watching the movie “The Crown” the Queen Mary says to Queen Elisabeth “To do nothing is the hardest job of all. And it will take every ounce of energy that you have.”

At that moment I thought, “that is exactly the same as being a lazy parent”

In the beginning it can take a lot of energy because you have to let go of your control, your fears, and you have to build the trust in yourself and your children that they are going make it. You as a parent need to see the potential and strength of each of your children as individuals. You have to see it , use it and help them grow it.

You have to stay vigilant, observe and be ready to gently intervene if it is needed without taking the lead back. You have to see your children as a mini adult but at the same time lead him in his first steps. You have to be a coach for your children, helping without interfering, without controlling, and without doing.

This is where inner conflicts can arise and challenge you and the process.

Undoubtedly, you will question yourself. “Should I protect my child more? Should I drive him to school? What if something happens? What if he cannot manage it? What if I am judged and criticized?” We ask ourselves these questions because the notion of freedom and trust often implies risks and dangers.

Safety, Security and perfections in our society seems to be more important than learning how to navigate our world. We need to prioritise teaching our children to trust themselves and that we trust them.

Once you have put these strategies into place and feel confident with the process, both you and your children will feel the freedom that comes with the team that you have built.

If you are interested in starting this process and need a little help, let’s Set up a Call!