Career Moms ❤️‍🩹

This graph illustrates that most women with children do work but part-time while men with children work full time. In fact, in 2021, 72 % of women in the EU aged 25 to 54 with children were employed against 90 % of men with children.☹️

Notice the opportunities for full-time work increase proportionately with the woman’s educational attainment. 📈 Perhaps most part-time jobs are not remote which puts women with children at a disadvantage.

This is because in this day and age, women 🙋 are still expected to do much of the domestic duties such as childcare and housework. This is supported by a survey that states men work more hours than women in a family setup. (See graph)

This is perfectly fine if this is a choice that makes the woman happy and content.

But is it an entirely different story if the woman ♀️ feels trapped and unable to exercise her options because of her life situation.🙅

If you were a mother of a young kid, would you have the option to work and have resources at your disposal to help you ?🤷‍♀️

Carving your own path

Although the common practice among families is for women to shoulder more care responsibilities, perhaps it is time to better understand the options available to make better decisions that work for you.

Things to consider in advance

💮Planned motherhood. I know real life is more complicated and not always planned but if this is a timed event why not look for an employer that supports mothers the most before deciding to plunge into motherhood?🤱

💈Exploring paternity leave which allows more relief from mommy duties and other related leaves that can be availed.🚼

⬆️Looking for informal support like grandparents for extra childcare relief🚸

✔️Look at work-from-home options for both parents since remote work has become an attractive alternative for most companies🖥️

Sometimes the guilt of not spending enough time is weighing us down from truly looking at the possibilities. We automatically dismiss the idea of working thinking we will become a bad mom or afraid of the backlash and the feedback that has not actually happened yet. Is your energy spent on worries that have not happened yet?

These negative self-talk shackles us and prevents us from looking beyond our box. These talks confine us in our own prisons because we refuse to entertain a new way to look at our situation. But technology, world view and practices have changed and made many things possible. Travel is no longer a constraint as interviews and presentations can be done online and even coveted teaching positions can be done virtually. The question is our mindset: are we ready to transition?

Are we welcoming technology as an enabler of our dreams?

Mommy guilt has to be examined and redefined because, in the end, it is not helpful to mothers looking for a meaningful career while having young children.

Common causes of Mom Guilt and how to overcome them

Breastfeeding 🧑‍🍼

True, colostrum helps the baby‘s immune system but after 1-2 months moms can indeed use a formula as well. There are no known studies that suggest a child would fare less with formula.

Time ⌚

Whether working or caring full time for a child the quality of child care varies. Time is not the determiner of success.

Boredom 😑

If you have been working and are about to transition to a different set up it is natural to feel bored. You are not bored with motherhood per se but rather in a new situation.

Seeking Help

Sometimes, our own perception of being a mom either because of previous experiences or other influences has led us to think we need to be a stand-alone superhero.

Once we realize motherhood is a team sport like all other things in life, then we begin to accept help from others or even ask for help. We recognize asking for help does not make us inadequate or ill-equipped, as they say, it takes a village to raise a child.

Judgy Family members 👉

Since we do not live in a bubble we are constantly exposed to comments, remarks that often negatively affect us. Ask yourself why you need to factor unsolicited, unwanted remarks in your life is it the people pleaser in you?

Remember, there is no one true answer in life. Problem-solving can take on different approaches: what works for others might not work for you.

You are unique with a different set of experiences and circumstances you forge your own path.

Post-Partum Depression 😭

Adjusting can create tension but once your feeling escalates to unmanageable levels like insomnia or excessive worrying, it might be best to consult a health professional.

Understanding how guilt shows up is important but having the tools to combat them is even more necessary.

First, congratulations on wanting to take matters into your hand. Do not let fear or worry paralyze you.

Take a few deep breaths and practice some self-care tips

Practice Self Love🤗

You are worthy of the love you give your baby. Being a mom does not mean you do not have your own needs but remember to always make sure knowledge and facts are the basis of your parenting practice, not rituals or second-hand information.

When you begin to be too harsh on yourself take a step back and focus on the positive.

Ask for help 🆘

If you need a couple of hours a week to do meditation and have some alone time, then ask for it. The people around you are not mind readers, but they are willing to pitch in once you communicate and share with them your struggles.

This includes hiring extra hands when possible. Taking care of other kids, making meals for them and your partner not to mention chores like cleaning and laundry are really exhausting. When possible delegate to trusted hands to afford you peace of mind. Probably the notion of true relaxation is knowing things have been done while you spend time with your growing family.

The value of delegating some house functions becomes important as well. When other kids are grown they become a valuable support group as well.

You are more than a mother ❤️‍🔥

Just because you are taking care of a small human does not mean all about you will fade into oblivion. You are still who you are, enjoy all the facets of your life, and find the balance to carve out a me-time amidst the chaos. Sign up for a virtual class or have meaningful chats with friends to get connected to who you are.

Listen to your children and your intuition👂📣

As much as you are unique so are your children. Take the time to listen to them do not assume what works for others will work for them too. Validate their feelings as much as you need to acknowledge your own thoughts. Introspection gives you the opportunity to examine rational and irrational thoughts and choose what to listen to just like your bashers you can decide to turn off the negative comments.